Beautiful Girl Syndromes

Beautiful girls can spend a lot of lonely evenings as most men think they are beyond them - and doubt they could handle it.

Alternatively, beautiful girls may get used to attention from men that they don't make any effort themselves - with many of the men they are interested in thinking they are beyond them. Thus beautiful people often do not get together.

The reader may think there are conflicts in these statements. The field of choice for beautiful people may be much narrower. "Miss Average" will be likely to have a wide choice among "Mr Average". Beautiful girl may have a narrow field of choice: she's likely to want someone like herself - but there may be a small number of beautiful men. Since girls are not only attracted by looks, there will be a number of other men - a lot of whom will regard her as beyond them.

The beautiful girl is likely to have to do more work (not less) to bring a relationship about. From the simple conflicting statements, these syndromes are more complex. We have to look at our Catastrophe model. We mentioned that attraction between a couple causes tensions, which largely cause the folded Catastrophe surface. Attraction with a beautiful person will be much higher, with the tensions much higher. Many couples have difficulty in negotiating this folded Catastrophe surface onto the high interaction plane. With a beautiful girl or boy involved the attraction will be much larger, and the Catastrophe surface that much more difficult to surmount. Where the man involved thinks the beautiful girl is beyond him and can't possibly be interested in him the relationship has a high chance of never getting off the ground. The attraction between two beautiful people may cause huge tensions, and produce a Catastrophe surface that is virtually impossible to negotiate.

A conclusion from the Catastrophe surface is that a man's advance tends to reduce the interaction between the couple (a girls advance increases it). A beautiful man's advance can thus have a devastating reduction effect. Keeping his advances small, but providing opportunities for her advance - which will increase the interaction - is a strategy. Be patient, wait for her advance, and then respond to it.

Beautiful people may exhibit many of the syndromes in their relationships, which forces them into the back right hand corner of the Catastrophe surface. Now beautiful man may well interpret her behaviour as she is not interested; he'll compare her behaviour with other girls. He'll see her effortlessly making conversation with other men, yet with him she's tense and doesn't say much, and he'll conclude she isn't trying. Beautiful girl may think the same about him. They both may be wrong about each other.

Perhaps nature intended it this way - as a means of distributing beauty through out the population, and not concentrating it in a few people. Or maybe it is just the short time we have been left to find our own mates - parents organised all this through the dowry system a century or two ago.

Many beautiful people will only get together by the intervention of third parties. This is the plot of many comedies of love down the ages: third parties arrange to tell the two people of their love for each other - according to these stories it never fails to work. Beautiful man encountering this syndrome may do no better than arrange such a third party himself.

If you are not a beautiful man, don't think beautiful girl is beyond you. Switch into Only to Gain mode, and make your approach. She'll be skilled in putting you off gently, but you may be surprised at the warmth of her reception. You have nothing to lose.

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