Before considering some of the Syndromes that a man may encounter, it is worth reviewing as background material the state of mind of a girl prior to asking her out.
This information was gained by discussing events prior to going out with girlfriends, where the relationship had become well established. It turns out to be of considerable importance in determining her behaviour, and how effective she is in getting her man.
Many girls will have some form of emotional upset when a man first meets her. It will not be very often that a girl is in a neutral state emotionally. Those who are will either be very young girls, who have not yet had a real affair, and those who are still going out with someone.
Most other girls will be suffering from some of the problems of breaking up with a former man, and problems with the oscillating syndrome (which see later). It seems clear that people (not only girls) react far less rationally to a new courting situation when they have such emotional problems.
The girl may therefore be in a delicate emotional state, and if things appear to be wrong with the courting process with her prospective new man, she may think of going back to her former man, or anyway react irrationally.
It may not necessarilly be for her last man that she's thinking. These facets all apply when she has given her man up, but may be more acute if she was given up. The girl may be thinking of a man who was many 'men' ago. This situation can be difficulat to detect since she may appear to have many men, and firmly given up the last man.
Yet the real man in her thoughts may be considerably removed in time and distance. In general the feelings for someone continue at a high level (and decay only slowly with time) until they have been transferred to someone else. Thus most girls, unless they are very young, will have such feelings for someone. In extreme cases she may react against any affectionate advances (see Clare Syndrome).
The category of girls who are most likely to be nearest 'neutral' emotion are those in fact who have a man - possible 'elsewhere' in the sense that he may be living at a distance from the girl, at college etc. The relationship is likely to be stable and of quite long duration, but which the girl is effectively bored with, and would change if she could find someone better. These may include a high proportion of engaged girls where her man is at a distance.
These girls can be very cool and rational in tackling a new man; they can plan a strategy and coolly carry it out; modify the plan to events; they don't get put off by apparent set backs - and don't show the avoidance reactions we have seen in the in the Catastrophe model; but plan their way around them and await the next opportunity.
They have the attitude that they can only gain and not lose. They don't let set backs worry them - they respond to the next evidence of interest by the man and capitalise on it - they don't let misunderstandings get in the way, and will give optimistic interpretation of events. They may be very forward, and in the case of engaged (or married) girls will get very near to breaking the taboo of asking a man for a date - and in some special circumstances may do so.
In short, such girls have a high tolerance of variations in the rules of courtship.
What will count a lot in such girls is if in fact they don't succeed, or succeed at that instant, she knows she can go back and continue with her old man. She does not have the immediate need of a man like other girls. It is possible that if such a girl did break with her old man she would behave very differently (see the Di Syndrome).
Other girls do not have this comforting re-assurance. They will have the need and a desire of a man, and be in a delicate emotional state. Such a girl is prone to feel hurt and get upset over apparent setbacks and misunderstandings - which will cause her to become stand-offish. She will be much less likely to make the running herself. Or if she does plan an elaborate strategy she is unable to react to events. The tension will be higher and she is floored by the unexpected - and since almost any strategy is unlikely to go according to plan, it is terminated by the behavioural patterns we saw in the last section. If people are under emotional pressure they can't think properly; she feels rejected and dejected, and runs away.
In short, such girls have low or very low tolerance for variations in the rules of courtship. In extreme cases, her reactions to variations may be so large that courtship becomes impossible.
Girls who have a man 'elsewhere' therefore are more likely to be proficient at picking up a new man, and in some cases the very young girl. It is worth noting however that a girl who has a man will never mention his existence to a prospective new man. On the other hand, if she just wants to be friendly she will inevitably talk about her man, as if implying that at the moment at least she isn't interested in any invitations. On a subsequent occasion she may say or hint that its all over or ending - flagging that an invitation would be welcome.
As girls get older they have more broken affairs behind them, and evidence possibly suggests that they try and react against situations which made them unhappy in the past. Anyway their tolerances to variations in the courting rituals narrow as they get older - making them more difficult to pick up. It could however be argued that girls with a wider tolerance who are easier to pick up get paired or married off sooner - leaving those who are more difficult to pick up in the courting pool longer - again this is quite likely to be operating too.
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