If a girl verbally suggests sex (either directly or indirectly), and the man declines, or it doesn't occur, then she will get very upset.
If it occurs early in the relationship, or before the relationship has started, she almost certainly will run away and the relationship will end. It is this aspect with which we will be mainly concerned. For if it occurs very early in the relationship it will be out of place in the normal build up of intimacy, and in terms of the All or Nothing Syndrome will constitute a not allowable behaviour, and will backfire.
The sequence of events will go something like this. For some reason the girl wants to accelerate the relationship. So early on, before there has been much or any physical contact, she starts talking about her own experiences, and perhaps asking the man about his. She may do other things to stimulate him - but won't tend to be strong on physical contact.
The man may respond in a number of ways:
The girl may not immediately act adversely (she's more likely to in case 2). But the next time they meet she'll be cool, catty, uncomplimentary and unfriendly to the man. She gives lame excuses for not meeting up with him on particular days, or does other things to end the relationship.
She feels embarrassed, may be incompetent and dejected - and cannot contemplate having anything else to do with him. She may run away to a former man - this will have disruptive effects on her feeling for the new man, which contributes towards her changed attitude to him when they next meet. She'll probably convenience herself that she does not really like him, and there is something wrong with him. After a long delay there may be a come back by the girl in some curious way - such as telling him of her forthcoming marriage - perhaps an attempt to stir him into action.
This is naturally a bewildering syndrome if a man encounters it. Before considering what he might do about it, it is necessary to look at surrounding factors.
As a basic rule of thumb, girls in the courting situation who succeed don't talk much about it, they just get on with it. Girls who talk about it may have complex surrounding facts - suggesting higher chance of failure.
With the advent of the pill (with some regression from HIV) relationships can escalate quickly - generally under the control of the girl. There are generally around 4 dates where the dating initiative remains with the man (the girl waits to be asked). After this time the girl starts to suggest things to do on dates - the dating initiative is no longer with the man. As a general rule of thumb the in bed time may co-inside with the ending of the man's dating initiative. That is to say, any sexual suggestion from the girl markedly before this time is a source of concern. After this time it may be regarded as wholly natural nowadays.
It probably can be said that the best time for a girl is late teens or early 20s. For both sexes, the functions deteriorate with time. But through her 20s the girl may experience problems cited in Roman Catholics' grounds for divorce. By the end of her 20s many girls report they do not have orgasms - some report they never had them. They are important as the girl's triggers the guy's - without which little happens! Some girls looking back realise their late teens and early 20s were wasted years - with the wrong guy or with an abstinence policy.
It is thus entirely rational for a girl in her opening suggestions to raise any such problems. If she's had bad experiences before it makes sense to explore the problems with her new guy. He therefore is well advised to explore the problems with her, contribute his experiences, seek new information together, and turn the whole thing into a fun adventure, where success may come after experimentation.
It may not be sensible to expect success on a precise occasion - tensions which then develop are counter productive. If the couple just experiment more, proceed further, then at some point it just happens. If they encounter difficulties, they just put it down to the latest experimentation, and try again. Since there was no commitment, no one has lost face, and soon they develop a successful technique.
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